From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black
by SimplyDifficult
Summary: AU Story: Sirius has a plan to get James and Lily together and he's recording his plan in his notebook.He also happens to have some dirt on Remus - oh damn, Remus. You better watch yourself.
1. The Brilliant, Awesome, Great Idea

**From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black:**

_What kind of name is Orion?_

It was my grandfather's name, so they decided to make it my middle name, Remu- WAIT! REMUS! GET OUT OF MY NOTEBOOK!

_I hope you know that it is pretty much impossible to 'get out' of a notebook, Padfoot._

Ah, shut up Moony. Ha ha. Moony, that sounds funny.

_As I may recall, it was you who insisted on nicknaming me Moony. I wanted to be Wolfie._

As I said, shut up.

_And if I don't shut up?_

I seem to remember a time after one of our celebration parties…

…_wtf?_

You know, after one of our victory parties?

…_Not getting it._

The one with about a million beers and a very cute Ravenclaw…

_Huh? And what does this have to do with me shutting up?_

The really cute Ravenclaw that you started snogging?

_Oh! That Ravenclaw, the one with the blond hair and green eyes? Right! Good times, good times._

You're not getting it are you?

_Get what...THAT RAVENCLAW!?_

Oh, good, you do get it; I was beginning to think it was hopeless for you.

_Damn, damn, damn. Wasn't that when I started to date Tina? And the hopeless line's for me to say to you!_

Not this time dear Remus.

_But I'm still not getting the me shutting up thing._

And I thought you were the smart one of us, I'll make it simple for you: you, drunk, snogging, Ravenclaw, have, girlfriend, very, violent, girlfriend, going, to, kill, you, when, finds, out?

_Right, shutting up._

Anyways, before I was interrupted, I was going to inform you of my wonderful, brilliant, great, plan to get James and Lily together!

Which means it's going to suck.

Hey! I resent that! And why the heck are you writing in my private notebook, Wormtail?

Technically, it isn't really me writing in this, it's more of a Moony dictating what I have to write because you shut him up.

So that's why I heard Moony mumbling under his breath over there.

Actually, he was planning ways to kill you slowly and painfully. Something about angry violent girlfriend. Care to inform me?

No. Have you been listening all this time?

Ever the smart one, FYI, you can't listen to a conversation being written down.

Right! I knew that!

FYI, I was reading over your shoulders the entire time.

Right! I knew that too!

FYI-

Will you stop it with the FYI's?

Fine, for your information-

That means the same thing!

Isn't that the whole point?

…I dunno, is it?

_So, back to the whole, it's going to suck part-_

When'd you get back Remus?

_Umm, since I decided that Peter wrote too slow?_

Sure, let's go with that…and why does it suck?!?

_Umm, cuz you had the idea?_

Now, that was uncalled for!

Actually, I thought it was necessary.

Well, no-one asked what you thought. So, nyah!

_So mature Padfoot._

I know, aren't I?

…

Now, my idea for getting James and Lily-flower together is this:

_Quick! Hide the notebook McGonagall is heading this way!_

* * *

CG: I hope you liked that first section! FYI (LOLez) this is going to be set around Christmas time, okay? okay. good. Glad to know we understand each other. Now I gotta go, my parents are hounding me to get off the labtop, BAIBAI!

Sirius: Wait, you mean you're just going to leave the readers without finding out what my awesome, brilliant idea?

CG: That's the idea!

Sirius: But, they have to find out!

CG: That what reviews do, Sirius darling, no I really gotta go. Later.

Sirius: But! Wait up!


	2. The Brillant, Awesome, Great Idea II

From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black:

_I repeat, what kind of name is ORION?!?!_

I dunno.

_Very smooth back there. With you spazzing and running in circles as if you were, I'm finding this next part hilarious, chasing your tail like a dog. I was the one who transfigured the notebook into a frog, which I may add, effectively hopped away so we could be excused._

I hope that jinx I just sent is effective.

_Ooohh! Lollipops, rainbows, unicorns, fairies are my friends…_

Eww, Remus you just drooled on me!

_Pink, candy, fluffy boas-WAIT! What the hell am I thinking?_

Good, I should tell Jamesiepoo that his new curse does work!

_He made this up?_

Yup!

_Whoa. And don't ever say that word in my presence again._

What? Yup?

_No! The other word!_

What?

_The word you said 8 lines from this line._

Wait…one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…you don't want me to say Jamesiepoo?

_Argh!! I thought I told you not to say that!_

Okay…I think that curse also happens to have a side-effect, temporary insanity.

_Pads, I gave up my sanity the day I met you guys._

Yeah, yeah, details. Anyways isn't my awesome idea great?

_What idea Sirius?_

The one that will get James and Lily together and ever!

_The one that you didn't tell me about yet and sit back down Sirius, you're causing the poor innocent people in the library to gawk at your horrible attempts at singing._

…

_Why the bloody hell are you singing anyways?_

Be quiet, you're interrupting my solo!

_You are messed up._

…

…

_PADFOOT!_

What?

_What the hell is the idea anyways?_

Oh? You want to know now? Well, too bad, you're not going to find out! So, nyah!

_WHAT?!?!_

That's right; you're going to have to beg for the plan!

_You know what, I'm actually going to back away from you, you crazy person!_

But…don't you want to find out what my awesomely great plan is?

_No._

I'll tell Tina what happened…

_Fine, I'll hear it, just don't Tina anything-please._

Okay. Now this is my plan: We're going to charm all the mistletoe at the Christmas Ball to follow Lily-flower around. I bet the boys are all going to try to free her from the spell, but this time, only Jamesiepoo-

_DON"T SAY THAT!_

Okay, okay, **James** will be the only person to be able to free Lady Lily from the horrible spell.

_Is that __**every detail?**__ Have you forgotten the time when you only told me part of a plan and we messed it up?_

And James will have to kiss Lily on the mouth once for every charmed mistletoe we put over her head and **we **are going to be charming a LOT of mistletoe to follow Lily-flower. I think that's it.

_You don't think at all-period._

I blow a big written raspberry at you.

_I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to ask._

Sooo, what do you think of my wicked plan?

_Surprisingly enough, it seems okay. For now._

What do you mean?

_I mean, right now, when it isn't being executed, it seems to be okay, but the second we carry it out, trouble will happen._

So? We'll just improvise. That's the Marauder's motto.

_I thought it was All for one and one for pranks on slimy Slytherins. _

That too.

* * *

CG: There. I hope you liked that part.

Remus: Why do I have to hear, or see, the word 'Jamesiepoo'?

CG: Cuz I wanna torture you.

Remus: groan

CG: Because of the reviews, I posted a second chapter and if I get even more reviews, there will be lots more! And I might even decide to post three chapters at once. hint hint.

Remus: If I were you, I'd just review.

CG: Thanks Remus! Bai for now peeps!


	3. The Flaw and Tina

CG: YAY! Nine reviews! Goodie! Oh yeah, for this chapter, I couldn't think of how to put the entire thing in notebook format, so some of it will be plain story. Okay? Okay. Good.

Remus: You don't give them much choice do you?

CG: Nah. 'Sides, if they're reading it that must mean that they like me!!

Remus: And I thought James had a huge ego.

CG: James does have a huge ego.

Remus: But, I, but-

CG: hehehe. I'm sorry if you were expecting three chapters this time, but I demand 15 reviews before that happens. That's 15 total reviews. Thanks.

* * *

**From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black:**

_What kind of self respecting parent would name their poor defenseless child 'Orion'?_

Do we have to go through this every single time Remus?

Yup.

Since when was your name Remus, Wormtail?

Never, but you still have to go through this every single time.

_So, since Wormy here just answered for me, I'll just say that I just spotted a flaw in your so called 'brilliant, awesome' plan, how-_

You forgot 'great'.

_Fine. That just makes the flaw seem bigger then: how then hell are we going to charm all 50 mistletoes over Lily without her seeing us?! You know that this has to be done in a time-frame of 15 minutes while she's walking to the Great Hall after one of her patrols._

Damn. When you put it down on paper, it doesn't seem so trivial.

_Do you even know what the word trivial means Padfoot?_

Umm…

_I didn't think so._

Nyah. So how are we going to do it?

…

Remus?

* * *

Sirius looked up from trying to get Remus's attention on paper to see Remus hiding under the table. This was weird, up until Sirius looked to his right.

"Hey! Watch where you're putting your hands!" shouted Tina Fey, Remus's long-time girlfriend, slapping one of the entranced boys she was walking by. She flipped her long black hair over her shoulders and walked towards Sirius and the cowering Remus.

"Hey Sirius, where's Remus?" Tina asked Sirius who was trying hard not to laugh. His pathetic attempts failed miserably, needless to say, and he burst out laughing. Tina grimaced at the sight of Sirius's spit flying all over her.

"Eww, Sirius, you got spit all over me!" Tina nearly puked at the globs of spit on her school robes. Under the table, Remus couldn't hold in his laughter any longer.

"Dejavu, anyone?" Remus snorted between words and crawled out from underneath the table. Tina raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm probably going to regret asking, but why were you under the table?" Tina braced herself for the answer.

"I was hiding from Sirius's singing voice," replied Remus smoothly. Sirius gasped.

"How dare you?! My singing is wonderful!" Sirius then demonstrated his talent and scared away half the people in the library. The other half was cowering under the tables with their hands over their ears to try and block out the sound. Some of them were even knocked out, lying with a broken glass in their hands.

Remus and Tina winced and excused themselves in a hurry. Sirius stared after their retreating backs and shrugged.

"So, Wormtail, don't you think my voice-"Sirius started, but faltered at the sight of Wormtail's body huddled in a corner.

"Some people just don't appreciate talents," sniffed Sirius, hurt.

* * *

**Back in the Boy's Dormitories:**

So what are we going to do about that flaw?

_Why are you asking me? It's your plan._

Ya, but you're the genius.

_That's right, dump all the work on Remus when poor little Paddy can't handle it anymore._

Hey!

_But I'm right._

Nyah.

_Mature. Very mature._

So. The flaw.

_I was thinking to put invisibility charms on all the mistletoe before charming them to follow Lily everywhere, you know, so she won't see them until we unveil them so James can see them._

I knew there was a reason why you're my friend; you can do all the thinking around here.

_I thought it was to keep me from telling James that you stole his invisibility cloak in first year._

That too.

_I'll have you know that I told him anyways._

WHAT?!?!

_That was why you woke up as a girl a couple months back._

DIE!!!!

_I'd rather not, you know. _

I'll tell Tina…

_You wouldn't!_

Watch me:

* * *

Sirius stopped writing and raised his head.

"Oi! Tina, get you ass up here now!" Sirius shouted down the stairs. Second later a very red and angry Tina Fey ran up the stairs and shot a hex at Sirius's mouth. Sirius tried to talk, but all that came out of his mouth was hot sauce. Remus relaxed against his bed post and laughed at Sirius's face turn red and ran for the washroom.

"So, how long is that hex going to stay?" Remus pulled his girlfriend onto the bed and kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose.

"Until he wizens up a bit and stops trying to talk for 5 minutes," Tina giggled.

"So, in other words, that curse is going to stay like that forever," Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, something like that," Tina said before Remus kissed her and that soon turned out to be a full-blown snog session.

* * *

Sirius: Let's get out of here before CG has to change the rating.

CG: I'd rather not write that. And how'd you get the curse off?

Sirius: By listening to them talk and following instructions.

CG: …I think I need a doctor. I thought I just heard Sirius say something intelligent


	4. The Marauders Asking For

CG: I'm sorry if you guys were expecting another chapter, but I want two more reviews, before posting my almost finished two more chapters. Come on people, TWO, two reviews! TWO LITTLE REVIEWS, THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING!

Peter: And I have it on good authority, that if she receives more than 15 total reviews, she'll post the three chapters at once.

Remus: Yeah, you knew that because she said so in the last chapter or something like that.

James: Will you guys just shut up and let the readers review?!? I wanna see what happens next!

Remus: Whiny,whiny. Sheesh. But please review.


	5. ByeBye MistletoeMERRY CHRISTMAS!

CG: YAY! 17 reviews! Thanks you guys. I'm going to be posting those three chapters today, which just so happens to be CHRISTMAS! So, Merry Christmas you guys, and I almost forgot, I thank lilsnjamesy for reviewing every time I updated! MERRY CHRISTMAS! And if you guys were checking for my updates, i promiseI'll post all three today, but maybe not all at once because I'm having guests over and everything, so, yeah. But I'll post all three promised chapters today. BaiBai!

* * *

Sirius came out of the washroom where he had just finished washing his poor tortured mouth of the hot sauce, only to run back when he saw Tina and Remus making out on HIS bed. HIS BED!

"Oi! You know I sleep on that bed, try not to make it dirty!" shouted Sirius, sticking his head out from behind the bathroom door. He barely escaped from the hex Tina shot at him, the second he showed his face. Sirius crawled towards the mirror and looked at his reflection and screamed like a little girl.

Outside, Tina and Remus heard the scream and jumped up to check what was going on in there. They were greeted by the sight of Sirius curled up on the cold bathroom floor, sucking on his thumb and hiding his face in his lap. Tina looked at Remus, who just shrugged.

"Hey, Sirius, are you okay?" Tina gently shook Sirius, who wailed dramatically. Remus stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing. Sirius looked up at Remus and pouted.

"Hey! You'd cry too if you found out that you got a pimple on your face!" cried Sirius indignantly. Tina backtracked a bit.

"Wait, wait a second, you mean, you screamed like a girl because you found out that you have a PIMPLE on your face?" spluttered Tina disbelievingly. Sirius nodded. Tina fainted in shock.

**From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black:**

_Who names-_

Yeah, yeah, who names their poor innocent baby Orion, whatever, let's just skip that crap okay?

_Fine. Let's discuss the plan. There's what we've got so far: we have 2 hours until the Christmas Ball. Lily is currently on patrols in the dungeons. We need to get down to the Great Hall and round up all the mistletoe. Then we need to charm them to be invisible, so we can put them over Lily's head, then we need to find a charm to allow only James near Lily to free her from the spell._

I don't like how it looks so complicated on paper.

_Too bad. Stop bawling. Now, let's get down to that Hall, because we got 2 minutes to get there and 3 to round up all the mistletoe before anyone comes in._

Kay.

Sirius and Remus raced down the staircases and out of the common room. They skidded to a stop inches from the fancy French doors of the Great Hall. Just as they slipped inside, Remus grabbed Sirius's arm.

"Damn it," Remus swore and dragged Sirius into a corner. Sirius stared, appalled. Then he regained his senses to ask what had happened.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"Keep your voice down," Remus whispered and pushed Sirius into a corner.

"I'm sorry, Remus but I just don't feel that way about you," Sirius pulled his arm free of Remus's grasp, but Remus grabbed it again and shushed him.

"I have no clue what you're talking about, but you were about to get caught by McGonagall," Remus motioned towards the tall intimidating professor. He turned back to Sirius.

"So, what were you saying about not feeling that way about me?" Remus asked. Sirius blushed and waved it off.

"Oh, nothing, nothing, it was NOTHING!" Sirius panicked. Remus blinked.

"Okayy, sure, let's just pretend this never happened," Remus said slowly. He peeked out of the corner and saw that McGonagall had left the Hall. He waved Sirius over and pointed towards the enchanted mistletoe over their heads.

"Kay, you take those on that side of the Hall, and I'll take the ones on this side," Remus pushed Sirius towards the Slytherins' side of the hall while he sauntered over to their own side. Obviously, Sirius wasn't very pleased. Okay, he wasn't pleased at all. OKAY, ALRIGHT, HE WAS VERY PISSED, happy; you got the truth out of me. Meanies. Anyways, Sirius charmed all of his mistletoe to go into a small box, then stomped angrily over to where Remus was getting ready to put the invisibility charm over the captured mistletoe.

"Gosh, Dumbledore sure made this mistletoe aggressive!" grunted Remus as he struggled to get his last mistletoe into his box.

"Why did I have to go to the slimy Slytherins' side of the Hall?" pouted Sirius. Remus gave him a look and shoved the crazy Christmas plant into the box with the others.

"Okay, now that we got all the mistletoe rounded up, the spell to make them invisible is_invisioccaeco,_" said Remus, demonstrating on his mistletoe filled box. There was a flash of silver light, and then when Sirius could open his eyes, the mistletoe in the box were gone, but when he put his hand in to check if they were still there, he felt a bite on his hand and jumped back.

"Boy, you weren't kidding when you said they were aggressive! Okay, here goes," Sirius closed his eyes and muttered the spell at the general direction of his box. Key words here, general direction. He felt the light sting his eyes again and when he blinked them open for the second time, his mistletoe was still very visible, and Remus was nowhere in sight.

"Remus! Where are-" Sirius called frantically, waving his hands around and he felt something block his hand. He turned to see his hand trying to push aside something he couldn't see. This just happened to be next to his box of mistletoe. And just happened to have a mouth and a voice that sounded like Remus's.

"You moron!" came the voice of Remus. Sirius cringed. This wasn't going as he had planned it to.


	6. Annoying Fathers

CG: OMG! I'm soo sorry you guys, but my dad made me get off the computer before I could post my other two chapters.

Tomorrow's Boxing Day. And you know how there's always sales on Boxing Day, well, expect those missing chapters tomorrow. Again, I'm sooo sorry. Don't flame, it was beyond my control.


	7. Snapes in Girl's Washrooms

CG: YES! Guess what? Well, you should already know is you're reading this. I snuck onto my labtop today while they were making dinner and I posted this! I might have time later on to try it again, but no promises. I do my best. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

* * *

Remus cleared his throat and glared at Sirius. Or, at least, Sirius thought he was glaring at him, he couldn't really tell because Remus had just been turned invisible. By him. Gulp. This was not good.

"What was the first thing I taught you, Sirius?" said Remus, still very invisible. Sirius chuckled nervously and backed away slowly from where he thought Remus was. Well, he thought wrong. Because he backed INTO Remus, who was standing behind him.

"That you should never close your eyes when performing a spell?" Sirius grinned weakly as he saw a wand being lifted by an invisible hand and focused on the space between Sirius's eyes.

Sirius kept a close eye on the oncoming wand. Suddenly Remus bursted out laughing.

"What?" asked Sirius, confusedly, taking his eyes off the offending stick, to look around blindly for Remus, who, if you still remember, is STILL invisible.

"You just went cross-eyed!" laughed out Remus and he clutched his side in an attempt to ease the stitch in his side. A tall shadow was suddenly cast over them. Remus's laughter stopped and he turned his (invisible) head to see…

"Professor Dumbledore!" gasped Sirius. This was quite understandable if you saw your Headmaster in a fluffy red and green boa. Which is what Dumbledore happened to wear. Remus kept silent, with a great idea for a prank that would make Sirius seem like a crazy lunatic. For the record, Sirius just happened to be a crazy lunatic, but, never mind.

Sirius flashed one of his most charming smiles at the Headmaster that usually got him out of trouble. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled merrily from behind his half moon glasses.

"Talking to ourselves now, are we, Mr. Black?" chuckled Dumbledore, knowing full well that Remus had been turned invisible. Sirius turned red again and groaned mentally.

"No, I was just talking to Remus here," he said, waving it the general direction of where he thought the unseen Remus was. Dumbledore played dumb and pretended to not know a thing about what had happened.

"I'm afraid I don't see anyone here except for myself and you Mr. Black, speaking of which, I would love to know why you have a box full of mistletoe and another box next to it, while the Hall seems to be emptied of it's Christmassy decorations?" asked Dumbledore. Sirius shrunk a bit and debated in his mind whether or not to tell him the truth, or make up a lie. He decided to go with the lie.

* * *

**From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black:**

Yeah, skip the bullshit about my middle name-that was bloody horrible.

_I thought it was amusing in the Great hall actually._

Yeah, you would.

_I can't believe that you tried to convince Dumbledore that you were in the mistletoe stealing Mafia._

Shut up. It was the best I could come up with under the circumstances.

_Okay. Who are you and what have you done to the normally idiotic and oblivious Padfoot?_

I am Padfoot. And HEY! What do you mean by normally idiotic and oblivious?

_I'm just stating the truth, Sirius._

That is so not the truth!

_Is too!_

Is not!

_Is too!_

Is not!

_Too!_

Not!

_Too!_

_No-_

Will you two just shut up?!? And if you are going to have a written conversation, try not to also talk?

Sheesh Wormtail, are you sure you aren't pregnant? You knwo, with all those mood swings and all?_  
_

_You're getting off topic. Besides, Pads, you don't use long words like circumstances correctly and spell it right either._

I resent that!

_Well, at least we got the mistletoe over Lily's head without her noticing._

Now all we got to do is take off the spell right before the ball.

_You make it sound easy._

It is easy.

_Oh yeah? How?_

Simple; you go down the common room stairs-

_While avoiding the mobs of people._

Walk through the corridors-

_And escaping from the girls who still don't have a date for the dance and want us._

Going down the staircases-

_And trying not to get caught on the stairs that always move at the wrong time._

Finding Lily-

_While trying to look over the crowd of people._

Shut up. You're making it seem hard when I'm trying to make it seem very simple.

_That was my intention._

That was not nice.

_Too bad. _

Meanie!

_Let's get going again so we can take off the spell._

We got to run, or else we will never find Lily in the crowds of people.

_Wow, Sirius, you amaze me with your intelligence. If it weren't for the fact that I was to one who said that earlier!_

Well, let's go anyways. Lily will be hidden among the mobs soon!

_There's something that we have access to called the Marauder's Map._

Oh. Right I knew that.

_Right…_

So.

_So what?_

So, where's the map?

_How about in James's trunk, where he always keeps it?_

Sheesh. Just one slip up.

_One, my ass._

Rather not, thank you very much.

_You are sick minded._

You wound me with your words.

_Good._

Hey! Where's his trunk?

_If you'll stand up, you'll see it._

Oh.

…

OMG! Snape is in the girl's washroom! I wanna go there!

_You can't be serious, that's sick!_

Of course I'm Sirius! I always Sirius!

_Never mind._

Let's go and use this in the girl's washroom already!

_Do you really want to get hexed into next year?_

Forget I said anything.

_You should wear a shirt with that phrase._

Ah, shaddup. Oh, and by the way, Snape really is in the girls washroom. Seems like allthe girls are running around in circles and are running out of the washroom at full speed.

_Seriously? Let me see._

See. Look there.

_That's just plain gross._

* * *

CG: You guys are the BEST!

Remus: What did we do anyways?

Sirius: Shut up. Just smile and take the compliment.

CG: You reviewers are totally awesome!

Sirius: What? You mean it's not about me?

CG: It's never about you.

Sirius: I think that just killed my ego.

Remus: Good job CG, keep on doing it.

CG: I will. Reviews please!

CG: Oh yes, I just wanted to tell you guys that even though I keep on changing my penname, I'll just use CG in my profile and author's notes. I'm changing my penname to whatever mood I'm in that day, okay? Thanks and merry Christmas again.


	8. Remus Sirius TrunksTROUBLE

Tenchi: I'm sorry if I didn't post as many chapters as you expected. I can't give you any other excuse except for the fact that I've got writer's block and wayyyy too many stories to finish. So here is what I did get finished. You can expect at least two more chapters in the next week or so because it's MARCH BREAK! Isn't this awesome? Continue reading and ignore me.

Disclaimer: Don't own James, or any other Harry Potter character. All of them belong to J K Rowling. Ain't that sad?

**From the Notebook of Sirius Orion Black:**

_We need to get to the third floor corridor because that's where Lily is._

…

_Sirius! Stop drooling!_

…

_Sigh. Can you please stop gawking at me like that?_

Sorry, it's just that…

_What?_

You didn't make a wise crack about my middle name.

_Do you want me to?_

Nah.

_Good, now can we go back to business? I'm going to stop writing in this thing._

* * *

Remus threw down his battered quill and sat down on his bed, across from Sirius.

"Okay, if we get there five minutes from now, then we'll have 3 minutes to charm all the mistletoe back and put on the other charm. Sirius, remember to get James and a whole other bunch of boys at the end of that corridor," Remus said, pointing to various parts of the map.

Sirius nodded. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you understand?" Remus asked dryly. Sirius pretended to look shocked and clasped his hand to his chest, feigning hurt.

"How can you ask such a thing?!" Sirius sobbed loudly. Remus grinned evilly; this was his department, as Charms were James's department, and loafing was Sirius's.

"Like this; you open your mouth, and using the muscles in your mouth and throat, you make noises and form them into words. Like this: are you sure you understand?" Remus said slowly, as if talking to a two year old and went back to studying the Marauder's map.

Since it was Sirius who he was talking to, he might as well have been talking to a two year old.

Remus heard a noise and looked up to see Sirius tearing apart James's trunk.

"What are you bloody doing?!?" Remus asked loudly. Sirius looked up from his rampage.

"Looking for James's cloak," Sirius answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Remus rolled his eyes and stood up from his bed and strolled over to James's bed and picked up a large shimmering piece of fabric.

"Could this possibly be what you're looking for, Padfoot?" Remus asked sarcastically, tossing the offending cloak into Sirius's face. Sirius, being a second too late, was blinded and stumbled backwards into James's insanely large trunk.

He fell in with a muffled thump, and with a resounding clunk, the lid locked. Remus, who was on his way to the bathroom, turned at the sound and saw no Padfoot killing the room.

"Padfoot?!" Remus called, and was answered by a muffled voice that seemed to be coming from…James's trunk?

DUN DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN

Tenchi: If I were a mean and evil author, I'd just leave you guys here at this mini cliffy. But since I'm not, continue on.

Remus cautiously stepped forwards, taking his wand out, if necessary, and unlocked the trunk. Suddenly a wand was flung so close at his face, that Remus could've sworn that it was up his nose for the briefest of moments.

Remus opened an eye slowly and saw Sirius looking pathetically hilarious, one foot in the trunk and the other stuck under James's bed, and waving his wand at Remus. Remus blinked and used his wand to slowly lower Sirius's pointing stick thingy.

"I don't really want to find out the answer to this, but what the heck were you doing in James's trunk?" Remus asked slowly. Sirius blinked and shrugged his shoulders.

Remus backed away and tripped over the mess that Sirius had made, while trying to find the cloak which was right in front of him. He just so happened to be positioned in front of his own open trunk and he fell in backwards, his foot hitting the lid, thus, closing the trunk.

Sirius snapped his fingers with realization.

"That's why I was in the trunk!" Remus could hear from inside his cramped trunk. Eww. It smelled disgusting; he's going to have to clean it out after this fiasco was over with.

* * *

After Sirius had finally figured out how to open Remus's trunk, and they both struggled to get Remus out of said trunk, they grabbed the invisibility cloak and the Marauder's map, and raced out of the boy's dormitories.

"Finally, we can start on phase three of our plan!" grumbled Remus. Then he smiled.

"But at least everything is going right so far!" He spoke too soon. Sirius caught sight of a pretty Ravenclaw, stumbled, and pushed Remus and himself onto a moving staircase.

Which was going away from where Lily was.

Which was towards the dungeons.

Which was were Snape and Malfoy was.

Which was not part of their plan.

Which was definitely_**NOT**_ good.

Tenchi: Remeber to review! Or flame. But only flame if you really think its horrible. But it'll be your fault if you hear on the news that I commited suicide because my reviewers were too mean. Also, try and guess what will happen next. A lollipop to the closest guesser!


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